


In The Dark

by TheBritishGovernment



Series: 00Q Drabbles [7]
Category: James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1813744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBritishGovernment/pseuds/TheBritishGovernment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q won't stay the night with Bond. Bond gets frustrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Dark

It was two and a half years after the Skyfall fiasco that Bond and Q went on their first date. Q had helped the agent put himself back together over that time. It had started with Q finding the agent in his flat after his first mission. He was wearing a bespoke suit surrounded by the shadows of Q’s flat, outlined by the lights from the street coming through Q’s windows. 

Q had cursed when he figured out that it was Bond, only after the agent gave a sardonic complaint about the quality of Q’s whisky. Q had only shot back that if Bond wanted there to be better alcohol in Q’s flat the next time he broke in he should buy it himself. Bond had smiled and moved away from the window as Q flicked on what seemed to be every light in the flat and went about making himself dinner. He didn’t offer any to Bond, but Bond took a helping anyway. Q didn’t say a word about it.

They went on for months like that. They barely talked but they would sit in each other’s company for hours on end until Q kicked Bond out and when he went to bed. A year into their relationship – of what variety, neither was positive ¬– Q gave Bond a key to the flat and the access code to the building. (“I don’t need the neighbors seeing you and calling the cops because you insist upon climbing up my fire escape.”)

Over the next year they started to talk. It was never personal, not at first. They started with small talks of upcoming missions and the practicality of different equipment in the field. (“And no, you still can’t have an exploding pen, if that’s what your thinking.”

“I don’t see what you have against the classics.”

“Other than the fact that explosions are hard to control? A pen with synthetic snake venom would be much more reasonable.”) By the time the year ended Q and Bond were quite good friends. They would sit on the Q’s couch sometimes in silence mulling over their own thoughts and sometimes talking. Some nights the flat was filled with the sound of laughter and sometimes a solemn silence would fill every crevice of the flat and press against them.

Bond hadn’t felt as at ease as he did with Q since Vesper. It was refreshing for him to breath easily without fear of betrayal. There was an open honesty about Q that he adored. There were few times that Q lied to him, but Bond found that he didn’t really mind when they came up. He was easy to read and Q never lied about anything that Bond thought was really mattered. The only time that Q had ever looked him in the eye and blatantly lied and Bond had found himself bothered afterwards was when he told him the story behind his fear of flying. The older man knew that his fear of flying was personal and if Q wanted to keep it a secret it was his right to do so. Still, when Q had brushed his hair out of his eyes when there wasn’t a need, Bond felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. 

It didn’t take long after that for Bond to figure out that he had feelings for his precious quartermaster. 

He refused to think of it as love. 

When he asked Q out the first thing that registered on the young boffin’s face was shock, and then hesitation. Immediately, Bond started mentally kicking himself for misreading his conversations with the quartermaster. 

Then Q said yes and they were both shocked.

After their first date it was another two months before they ended up in Bond’s bed. It was a slow and sensual thing that was fucking mind blowing if Bond did say so himself. Bond was on the edge of sleep when he felt Q get out of the bed. He didn’t dare move, only listened to Q move around the room and the rustle of clothes.

When the front door clicked shut Bond felt like he had just been shot.

It went on for another six months and nothing changed. They would go out on dates, fall into bed – always at Bond’s, never Q’s – and Q would sneak out. Bond never brought it up. He didn’t dare. 

It came to a head after a mission that had gone pear shaped from the moment Bond’s plane landed in Hong Kong. Bond had come back bloodied and bruised and they fucked like it was their last night on earth. When Q rolled out of bed and gathered his clothes Bond sat up in the bed.

“This has to stop,” Bond said before he had even really thought through the words. “You can’t kiss me like I’m the only man on the planet and then sneak out in the middle of the night.”

Q opened and closed his mouth. He looked resigned and maybe a bit disappointed; it didn’t hit Bond until later that Q had known what he was going to say.

“You have two options,” Bond continued. “You can come lay down with me and stay until morning and let me cook you breakfast or you leave and this stops.”

Q nodded once. “You’re right. Goodbye, 007. I’ll see you at work,” Q said firmly, even if his voice cracked at the end. Q turned around and walked out of the flat without looking back. 

Bond felt his heart, which had opened itself to Q, close up tightly again.

*  
Bond and Moneypenny were sitting in a pub two days after Bond broke off whatever relationship that he had had with Q. There were three other pubs between MI6 and the bar they were currently residing in. Most of the other MI6 employees that went out for drinks after work stayed in one of the first two, but Bond’s circle of friends found that being farther away meant they were away from prying eyes and no one paid unwelcome attention to them.

“But why?” Moneypenny asked. She seemed infinitely curious about his relationship with Q. She said it was her duty as his friend to care about his relationships, Bond thought she was just a snoop. 

“It’s not important, Moneypenny,” Bond brushed off. 

“Of course it’s important. If you broke up with him because it just wasn’t working out it’s fine. However, if you broke up with him because he cheated on you I have to shoot him.” Moneypenny smiled and sipped her beer like nothing was wrong with the fact she might actually shoot MI6’s quartermaster.

Tanner slid into the booth next to Moneypenny with his own beer. “What are we talking about?” 

“Nothing. How’s Mallory?” Bond asked feigning interest in whatever meeting had kept Tanner late after work.

“No,” Moneypenny cut in. “We were talking about why James dumped Q.”

“You dumped Q? Why?” Tanner asked.

“A better question is why you care so much?” Bond countered.

“We’re your friends,” Moneypenny answered instantly.

“Because you were pining after him for a year,” Tanner said flatly.

“That too,” Eve added with a grin.

“You’re right,” Bond snapped dangerously. “I practically fell in love with him and he couldn’t be bothered to stay the night. Happy?” 

Moneypenny deflated and Tanner froze. “I’m sorry, James,” Moneypenny said softly.

“Go talk to him,” Tanner said. His voice was devoid of any sort of emotion or inflection.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Bond said, draining the last of his scotch.

“There’s plenty to talk about.”

“No, there’s not,” Moneypenny said.

Tanner didn’t respond.

Bond narrowed his eyes at the man. “What do you know?” 

“I know quite a few things.”

“What do you know about this?” 

Tanner just stared at him.

Bond sighed and pulled out his wallet, throwing a few notes on the table to cover his drink. “I’m going home. I’ll see you two at work.” Bond stood up and pulled on his jacket. He ignored the slightly concerned look that came from Moneypenny as he moved out of the bar and to his car outside.

What he hadn’t realized when he said that he was going home was the fact that he now considered Q’s flat home. He ended up standing in front of the Quartermaster’s door. He unlocked the door and went in side. It was still fairly early and Q probably wouldn’t be there. Bond could return his key and find anything that he might have left in the younger man’s flat without having to talk to Q. Hopefully.

Q was there. He turned and looked at Bond from the couch. He didn’t smile like he usually did when Bond walked into his flat, but he did move over on the couch to make room for the agent.

“I just came to return my key,” Bond said, the key clicking on the stone of Q’s counter.

“You don’t have to. Unless you want to cease our friendship as well as our relationship.” Q’s voice was carefully empty.

Bond stood silent in the middle of the entry next to the counter. He wasn’t looking at Q, instead his eyes focused on the key under his finger. “Tanner said to talk to you.”

“What expert advice,” Q replied sardonically. His voice switched so that it was bland and professional. “It will be necessary. Even if we aren’t friends anymore I’m still your quartermaster and that means you have to talk to me, whether you want to or not.”

Bond sighed and moved to where the couch. Q was on his computer, but Bond had no qualms about taking it from him. Q all but squawked when he did, but looked at Bond anyway. “What was Tanner really talking about?”

Q watched him carefully before he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “You have to listen to the whole thing if you want me to tell you. If you interrupt me once you will leave the flat and go home with an unfinished explanation.”

Bond nodded.

Q took a deep breath and removed his glasses. He rubbed his eyes before putting them back on. “Roughly six years ago I went with 004 to Panama City to help with a mission. It should have been a quick in and out job, but we got caught. The group that we were targeting weren’t in a rush for their information it seemed.” Q’s voice cracked and Bond wanted to wrap his arms around him, comfort him if he could. But Q had been very specific and Bond didn’t want to risk it. “They locked me in a room that was completely dark and that no sound could get in or out of. There was canned food off to the side of the room so that I could feed myself, along with water.

“They told me that there were mics in the room and that when I started talking they would let me out. I started counting instead. I lost count somewhere around five hundred thousand.” Q let out a dry sob and looked down at his lap, but still didn’t stop talking. 

“I was in there for what someone told me later was three months. I had to go to rehab and reteach myself everything. It was a year before I was cleared. I was okay except for one thing.” Q started shaking. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. “I’m afraid of the dark.” He looked back up at Bond like he was waiting for the other man to laugh at him. Bond just stared back at him, his face unreadable.

Bond felt the urge to kill everyone who was so much as associated with the people who had hurt Q. They were probably already dead, he knew that, MI6 didn’t leave loose ends. The thought of them being dead didn’t quell the rage that was running though him like a fire in his veins. Bond had to work hard to keep the anger off his face.

Q’s strong mask shattered in a moment and he was sobbing into his hands choking on his words. “I’m afraid of the dark and of the field. I couldn’t tell you because those places are your home. I’m pathetic and I didn’t want you to know.”

Bond wrapped his arms around Q and pulled him against his chest so that the smaller man was crying into neck. “You’re not pathetic, Q,” Bond whispered. He held Q tightly against his chest. “You’re stronger than anyone knows. Stronger than anyone could know.” Bond continued to hold Q until his body stopped shaking and his sobs tapered off. 

Q pulled back, but didn’t look at Bond. Instead he wiped the tears from his face and stared down at his lap.

Bond wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. Words swam around in his head, but none of them could form a coherent sentence.

“You can leave now. I’m sure you want to,” Q said quietly.

Bond’s eyes widened just slightly. “Do I have to?” 

Q’s head snapped up to look at the agent. 

“All I have to do is leave the lights on, right?” Bond asked, looking as innocent as possible.

A tentative smile spread across Q’s face. “Do you mean it? I mean…I’ve had three boyfriends tell me that they could handle it, but they all ended the same way: them telling me to get over it and leaving,” he continued when he saw the confused look on Bond’s face.

Bond cupped Q’s cheek in his hand and whispered on Q’s lips, “Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos & Comments = Love


End file.
